BOTH GENDERS

1. In giving each other the cold shoulder treatment; one will notice the pretty floral patterns on the wall, the other partner will say "yuk, did I really agree to that wallpaper?"

2. When arguing don't say "my mother/father said you were always....."

3. When you have children don't automatically think their clones of you; as the teenage years approach your revise that opinion fast.

4. When deciding who will drive the car, don't give in and you'll both be going nowhere for the evening.

5. If you're going to mention you're ex-partners, make as if they weren't that brillant in bed, the competition is likely to result in point-scoring instead of love-making with techniques compared afterwards.

6. Remote controls for TVs and videos were meant for sharing, it doesn't mean one controls it and the other partner ends up remote for the evening.

WOMEN

1. When seeing a guy with a six-pack stomach don't ask your man what happened to his as you look his waist-handles.

2. No your father wasn't the greatest man alive that title is reserved.

3. No, your brother isn't He-man but a little snivelling weed with pimples who's under the delusion that his a gift to women.

4. Whilst on a journey when a man says "this is a short-cut" it means your lost.

5. If you've known him since the beginning what makes you think he'll change now.

6. His habits were laying in wait just so he could show them off to you.

7. When your man says his waist line hasn't changed since his youth, its advisable not to say anything but buy him new trousers without the size label. That way you can secretly smirk.

8. If his having an affair no there nothing wrong with you.

9. When your girl-friends come over, don't expect your partner to like them as much as you.

10. And giggling when he enters or leaves the room will only make him question you afterwards intensely and he will not get the joke.

MEN

1. When a woman says "your wrong", there no point in huffing and puffing even six months later when you bring up the subject again. You'll still be wrong then also.

2. On a journey, when a woman says "not far now dear" it means another five miles will be added to reach your destination.

3. Walking with your woman and a man sees another attractive female walking by its advisable to suddenly notice the weather clouds or else you could end up looking to the ground.

4. If there's an event that you both have to attend don't pick an argument beforehand with your woman, 'cos men tend to sulk and have an excuse to say "you go by yourself".  Its blackmail.

5. When clipping his nails or nostil hair don't appraised it and say "look at this dear" as if its a trophy, women don't won't to know your grooming habits in detail.

6. Women do fart, snore, pick their noses and blurp too its done quietly and out of sight.

7. No the bath and toilet isn't self-cleaning.

8. Your mother is your mother. Learn to discern the difference it will make life easier to live with your partner.

9. When your favourite item of clothing is your comforter that you've slept and live in for years is suddenly sent to the dry-cleaners, there no need to ball your head off and cry like a baby. It will be returned freshly spring cleaned for another twenty years.....there, there now.

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